Eviction Notice...

Dear Baby Girl,
This is to inform you that you are being evicted from your current place of residence. You need to have your possessions removed no later than Dec. 11th. You're being served with this eviction notice because of your continued "wild parties" that keep your landlord up at night and for, at times, being a real pain in the behind (I don't know how you happened to find my sciatic nerve but it is not yours so you really should leave it alone).

As a loving landlord I promise that your new accommodations will be warm and cozy and you will get lots of love from your "neighbors".

Thank you and I am sorry if this causes an inconvenience but it can't be helped.

Love,
Your Landlord
Mommy